JD, I did get some help from Samaritan's Purse. They came in during the summer and removed all the wet insulation from my crawl space. I have filed an application to get some new insulation from Mountain Mission but I have not heard from them yet.

It feels so awkward to be asking for donation here on PC. It is better if I reframe it to say DocJohn is asking on donations on my behalf.

Awkward.

I don't really know what to post here so I will post some of the conversation I had with another PC member.

About the flood......... I haven't posted much about it because my emotions keep flipping to confidence that I shall overcome to the hard reality that I am going to have to overcome without help from the government/FEMA and at times outright despair. Twenty-three people died in the June 23 flood, one of whom was my nearest neighbor who was electrocuted. I know that some people have lost more than I have, I still have my son and family, but sometimes I don't know what direction to turn.

The flood was sixteen inches in my house which mostly affected my crawlspace damaging my heating/cooling ductwork and insulation. My garage and living room are lower than the rest of the house so water did come in there but the loss of property was minimal; a computer, my dryer, clothing and "stuff". The living room had been built after the rest of the house. At one time the living room was a patio with a concrete base and they added tiles and carpet but I removed the carpet several years ago so cleanup was much simpler than a wood floor would have been.

My septic tank was damaged and we do not have sewer service available in the rural area where I live so my son and I are having to use five gallon buckets for our toilet and then dumping them behind the barn where I used to put my horse, Dusty's waste. It is crude and embarrassing but at this point I have no better way.

FEMA assessed the damage and gave me a small grant ($2100) but that doesn't begin to cover the repairs. Estimates for repair/replace of the septic tank is $6000 - $10,000 and I have yet to get estimates for the ductwork which will have to be completely replaced as it is badly damaged. I called the company that had installed my air handler and heating/cooling unit four years ago (with the original ductwork from when the house was built); I told them I need an estimate for the FEMA appeal but the technician was rude and said he could not give me an estimate until the damaged, wet insulation in the crawl space was remove and then he asked me for $75 for ..... well, not sure for what but I have had trouble with that company before so I paid the $75 and then called the Attorney General who sent me a complaint form and they are going to confront the company on my behalf. ***holes. Four weeks ago I was recommended a guy that did plumbing and HVAC and he came to my house and measured the house and said he would sit down that night and email me an estimate but he didn't and now he no longer returns my voicemails. I know contractors are really busy with the widespread damage but I suspect he doesn't want to repair my house because of the narrow crawlspace. He has the right to refuse me but I just wish he would be honest and not leave me hanging. I am trying to find other contractors but easier said than done.

The FEMA inspector explained how the system works. He does the inspection, I receive a grant, then if I need additional $ I appeal FEMA. If I still need help I then file for a low interest SBA loan. I am having difficulty finding contractors for estimates so I called FEMA last week to make sure I don't miss a deadline. I asked about the procedure for applying for the SBA loan and they said my income was too low to qualify because I don't have the means to repay a loan. One less option for poor people.

I mentioned to my dad that I didn't qualify for the loan because of my low income and he said, do you think maybe it is because your income is too high? Seriously, dad?!! Yes, my SSDI income and the fact that my adult son has become temporarily unemployed because the flood washed out the bridge that accessed the mall where he worked at KMart. Yeah, I am in rolling in money.

We have received food/clean towels/bottled water/toiletries from private donations and for the first week after the flood restaurants and other groups were grilling hot dogs/burgers, giving away pizzas and other food so that was appreciated much. But the government has given little help and Red Cross offered nothing. There are STILL people in WV who are living in tents and FEMA sent only 15 of their temporary housing trailers to WV.

Volunteers from Samaritan's Purse came and removed all the wet insulation in my crawlspace. Hearts with Hands gave me a loaner commercial fan to put in my crawlspace to help dry it out. I was asking my brother (an engineer) if I should put a plastic tarp under the fan to avoid electrocution but he said that was insufficient and advised me to buy a circuit interrupter which arrived from Amazon today.

Even before the flood my house had maintenance issues that I do not yet have the money to repair. I need some serious electrical rewiring. I have two rooms in which the lights/electrical outlets do not work AT ALL and about a year ago I was on the computer in the study and smelled smoke and when I opened my bedroom door the room was full of smoke (smelled electrical in origin) and I unplugged the clock/CPAP machine from the electrical outlet. The fire dept had a heat sensor that detected no fire within the wall space. So I no longer used the lights/outlets in that room and cannot use my CPAP for my sleep apnea. The living room has newer electrical outlets (the room that used to be the patio) so we have heavy duty electrical cords running from the living room to my son's bedroom to power his computer/TV/video games.

My house is quite a mess and I am terrified the Health Department will condemn it as unfit for human habitation. As if the story is not bad enough I am a hoarder and my house is very cluttered. I was on a TLC show six years ago but the "organizer" only has experience in organizing offices and mainly runs estate sales so she was not only useless but she actually made things worse by throwing away things of value and boxing items and I cannot find them. I had a handwritten collection of recipes in a notebook in my kitchen and it is now gone and I don't know if I will ever find it. Stuff like that.

I am not one to cry easily but I think I have cried more this summer than I have cried in my entire life. I am trying to be positive example for my son but sometimes I just don't know what to do to fix our situation.

Friday I took my car to the dealer for an oil change and headlight replacement ($145 for that crazy). My car will not pass inspection because I need all new tires estimated to cost $980 plus I need car maintenance to replace my timer belt which with labor costs $1200.

What the heck am I supposed to do? My ptsd and bipolar are well controlled now but I have not worked for sixteen years and can no longer be on my feet for 8-12 hours for critical care nursing like I did. I applied for a part time job at a nearby library which pays not so great but I think I could do that job well. Unfortunately that library is also not accessible because of the bridge washout. I'd love to have a job working poison control or a similar job where I use my brain and is less physically demanding but I am almost 58 years old and it is hard to find the kinds of jobs I could do well.

I am considering applying for a community grant here at PC but the maximum I can receive is $500 plus I am a bit embarrassed. The $500 wouldn't go far towards the overall condition of the house but KMart gave a $300 gift card to my son because he was affected by the flood and we thought if I could put $500 with that we could afford to buy a washer and dryer.

Some people have been donating money and Lowes cards and such to help people acquire materials for rebuilding and I am going to apply this week to the Mountain Mission for insulation. Most of the volunteers are now gone but I *might* be able to get someone to install it.

I am so frustrated and spinning in circles.

Last week my dad's wife #5 mentioned that I had better replace that insulation right away because winter is coming. I'm like what part do you not understand of disaster? She is a nut case and I was wanting to visit my dad this year but she swings back and forth from how much she appreciated the three weeks I spent in the hospital when dad was critically ill in Aug 2015 and then criticizing me for all my many failures and when I went to the ED while I was there when I was really dizzy she shoved her way into the ED against my wishes and said I was attention seeking and always saying me, me, me and she counted that day and I said "me" eleven time in an hour (what? you count my "me" words?!) We got kicked out of the ED for verbally fighting and she is unpredictable. Patience is one of my virtues but she pushes me to the limit.

There was one positive thing this summer though. My son was best man in a wedding and we had to travel to Indiana where the bride grew up. My mom gave me money to cover the hotel expenses and a rental car and honestly that is the closest we have been to a vacation in ~20 years. Her extended family were all really lovely, educated people much different from my extended family of simple minded rednecks. We had a cookout at the bride's house the evening before the wedding and her dad made the best ribs I have ever eaten. I had two servings. When my son walked down the aisle in the church I realized he was all grown up now doing grown up things and I cried. Then the bride walked down the aisle and I cried again. And of course cried again when they walked out at the end of the ceremony. I am not one to cry much but cry I did. At the reception when my son gave a toast he mentioned how the bride and groom were the first people to bring us bottled water and supplies after the flood disaster and *you guessed it*, I cried again. The trip was a wonderful social affair away from all the problems of the house and flood damage and I had a great time.

I know you did not expect a novel when you asked what was going on but I have nobody but my son to talk to and I don't want to stress him so I try to limit my anguish so I don't depress him.

Thanks for listening.