Thank you all for validating my feelings here. Thank you too for hearing my rant.

My appt with my counselor is this evening, in 3 hours to be exact.

In the state of mind I was in, I emailed him at 11:00 that night. I vaguely remember sending it. Friday morning it came back to me a while after I got up. I felt like an idiot. His reply was very understanding and that helped my feelings. I emailed him back and broadly explained what happened and asked him to forgive me for sending the email. He is really great and I don't think that he thinks anything bad about it, I hope not, but I'm embarrassed.

Please wish me courage. I want to be "all there" and not let this trigger me. I can't seem to get my thoughts together.