Thanks, everyone, for your support and advice. A lot of times I don't know what to do.
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I wonder if you should tell your ex how you feel about his asking for the ring (?). And yeah I can definitely see avoiding the penny war. You don't want to get into that. But that must have really hurt. Remember that sometimes people (guys especially) don't view the symbolism of items with the same intensity that others do.
</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">sidony, I am pondering what you've written. Maybe I should tell him how I feel. I didn't. I just sucked it up and tried to be businesslike about it. Right now this ring thing is coloring my ability to move forward on other fronts with the divorce. I think it might help to get it out there. I am sure my T will have some thoughts on this.
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Maybe his lawyer is the one who suggested the ring business...?
</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">Pachyderm, to me it makes no difference if my husband's lawyer suggested it. My husband is a grown man and is free to take his lawyer's suggestions or not. Also, and this may sound weird, my husband's lawyer is such a sweetie, and very sensitive to stuff like this. I feel he would have counseled my husband NOT to list the ring if my husband had asked him.
I do have some GOOD NEWS. I got a short but sweet e-mail from T this morning, and it lifted my spirits tremendously.
I like how he invoked our close relationship by using slang twice in his message. I've done that with him by e-mail too. It reminds me of the phenomenon of "code switching" that I studied in Linguistics in college. People switch between different modes of speech depending on their closeness to each other and the nature of their relationship. I see him later today for our session.
This sort of thing with spouses separating and the ring is his bread and butter. I don't know how he'll help me with this, but I know he will.