So, I really do need to talk/vent a little. Sorry if this comes off a little whiny, but I'm in the middle of a panic attack.

I have a job I really like. I do the things I like to do and I'm good at. I'm the most senior person on the team behind the 2 managers. One of the managers is retiring at year end and I applied. I think I'm the obvious choice and I can give myself a laundry list of the things I do and do well and the various people across the company, including my management, asking specifically for my help and kudos I've received. Even today.

I interviewed last Monday and was told by the AVP that it would be 2-3 weeks. But every fiber of my being is thinking that I'm not going to get it. Now I know that life happens and there is no guarantee. I talked with the AVP this afternoon and got the impression that I'll be there for a while. But I don't think it will be in the manager roll.

So, I'm sitting here pondering giving up a job I like, I do well at and that people seem to think I do a good job at, because I don't want to face the rejection of not getting it. Quitting before hearing anything with no job lined up and leaving a job and people I like.

I just don't understand how my thinking has gotten so out of whack. Even if I don't get the job I have no reason to expect that they will also fire me. But I just cannot get that out of my head.

Honestly, I probably would have been better off not applying at all, but it's what I want to do. The AVP even made it seem months ago that she knew the manager was going to leave soon and that she wanted me to begin picking up some of the stuff that would be assigned to her.

Anyway, anxiety sucks.