Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastel Kitten
I know it's wrong to diagnose people but I'm 99.9% sure that my mom has BPD because I'm diagnosed with it and we have mirror symptoms (even she herself has acknowledged that). She has made a mess of every relationship in her life with her fear of abandonment and highly unstable emotions. She's 54 and while she has gotten slightly better, she continues to destroy her life unintentionally. She believes her current partner will leave her and she'll spend her life alone. She thinks it's better that way, and maybe it's true that a lot of borderlines who seem to get "better" with age are simply avoiding relationships. I quote her: "When I'm not in relationships, I'm lonely but I can manage. In relationships, my fears of abandonment are immediately triggered."
I don't want to make people lose hope by saying "if you've got BPD then you're destined to a life of loneliness" but this is my personal view on the whole "BPD gets better with age" notion. It's still possible to sustain healthy relationships despite this ****** illness, but it takes a lot of work.
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You speak the truth. You have to find someone who is willing to work hard on a relationship. There are too many healthy women out here. What man wants to work hard on a relationship they just have too many other options.
I had a therapist tell me I need to accept the fact "I need learn to accept I will be alone the rest of my life". Because of my BPD everyone including me will be so much better off if I isolate myself and never start conversations with other people. This philosophy has helped but I am still totally lonely. I think about suicide a lot who wants this life - no one. Trigger - I just wish I was brave enough. I have this large concrete bridge. All I have to climb on it and jump. I am just a scary cat. I am 66 I have no reason to keep living.