I've had several that have come and gone over the years. Some of them to explore different sides of me. You might even say that this one that I'm using right now is another one - the one where I am 100% open about my AvPD, and intend to be 100% open about various parts of my life that I think is related to my diagnosis and so forth.

Sometimes I've had online personalities that have been very sexual in nature. I guess it's lack of real-life experience and a general feeling of loneliness that has caused me to experiment online, and to generally create fantasies for myself that feel safer than going out in real life and face rejection.

However, these days, I am in a real-life relationship, and my online past has caused some problems. My partner has her own insecurities, and even though I was very upfront about my sexual sides when we first started getting to know each other (in what was my first attempt ever to be completely honest about everything when getting to know a new person, so that the person would have the chance to either accept me or reject me based on who I am), there were things she learned more about along the way that, to her, felt like unpleasant surprises.

For example: She knew I was a member of a specific adult website where one can look at pictures and watch video clips of undressed models. She also knew that this website had various discussion forums. But as she tried to get to know that side of me, and became a member on that site herself, she felt uncomfortable with the sexual nature of my previous discussions in there.

It should be noted that these were discussions I had with other girls prior to getting to know her, and I stopped participating in those kinds of discussions as soon as I realized I had the chance to get involved in a real relationship with this girl, but she still felt like this was a part I had not been completely honest about - not that I had lied about it, but I hadn't given her that many details about it (out of fear that she would judge me). When she became a member, she was able to read these discussions herself, and it triggered her insecurities. I in return ended up feeling rejected and judged after all, which triggered self-defense responses which in return made her feel like I didn't respect her feelings.

Long story short, this has caused harm to our relationship, where intimacy is a very serious issue. It all became a self-fulfilling prophecy to me.