Nine days till my exam. Preparations going well despite a bad PTSD relapse. When I am not studying my mind ruminates on very dark stuff. The anxiety, panic and sense of powerlessness and rage are immense. Clonazepam and Olanzapine (Zyprexa) help but I need high doses to put a dent in it. Evenings are worst. I try to do more study, surf the net and watch TV, talk to friends but the emotions, obsessions and anxiety overwhelm me.

Talked to my T over the phone yesterday. The PTSD hit me out of the blue on Saturday, and at full speed. My T gave me some helpful suggestions to get me through and will be checking up with me later today(Tuesday here). I see him tomorrow. He was very concerned and even mentioned IP but right now I can keep myself safe, I just have crazy moments where I'm on the edge. With an exam next week it would be bad timing if I got so bad I had to go IP. Well at least my bipolar is stable right now.