I feel for you... your pdoc probably doesn't want to prescribe an antidepressant to lift you out because it may trigger mania and a different set of problems. Be kind to yourself, and give yourself time and patience to cycle out of this; cancel every appointment you can to reduce your stress load, get a lot of rest and be thankful for everything you've still got going for you: for example, you have no civic duty to cast a vote in the imminent American election between Scylla and Charybdis.