The more (secretly) horrible your husband is to you, and the less your marriage counselor can see it, the more reason for having your own separate counselor yourself. This doesn't need to be a psychiatrist--it can be your very own therapist. He can teach you how to deal with husband and even how to deal with the marriage therapist. It sounds like the marriage help you need is how to get out of it. If he isn't working towards that then I'd take him at his word that you need someone else, never mind if he meant it to show you're the weaker one. Strength is knowing when you need (additional) help.