Yes it started after the emotional affair. Things were not perfect by any means before the affair. He "got me" straight from my parents at the ripe old age of 19. He is seven years older than me and has had one marriage before me (no children).

Many people told me that they felt he was controlling in the beginning but I was "in love" and he taught me a lot about myself and life so I was hooked. Something that always stands out is deciding what to get on the pizza when we were first dating. I would get what he would want, I said what I wanted once and he said that it sounded gross so we didn't get it. I was a ding dong and it never dawned on me to get half and half. Now I'll get what I want but it's gone way beyond what to get on the pizza.

Everything in my heart says that he's wrong, not the way he feels but how he responds, but because I feel guilty for what I've done and still do, to a point, I just go with it. I feel like I'm rambling, thank you for your reply. I sure can use any guidance I can get