You had a really rough start with your family of origin. You are doing amazingly well. You had an indiscretion and he's showing anger, being abusive, and not forgiving and moving forward.

I guess you both need to decide if the marriage can be salvaged or if it is broken and needs to be ended. You can put a stop to the verbal abuse by demanding he stop it because you won't stay with him unless he cuts it out.

If you say it's counseling or divorce, he may choose counseling.

My h found a t for us once i moved out. That motivated him.