T and I were talking in session about my processed memories feeling "unreal" or like someone else's story. I told her I have no connection to them, and that they are foggy & distant, as if I had read them once in a book decades ago; I understand the overarching theme if someone reminds me, but that's as far as my understanding goes with them... I mentioned that i'm not sure they feel "processed" so much as either re-burried, or proven to have been made up.

T realized she had no real concept of how processed trauma memories should feel, despite having extensive experience with not only dissociative clients, but also clients who've supposedly proceed their traumas and healed. She is unsure if processing memories long after the event (in my case, we'll over 20 years later, and from an adult space rather than the child space in which they happened) would feel different than memories processed in the order they happened, and relatively immediately. She said she'd look into it from her end (assuming that means talk to other clients and trauma professionals),but I'm also curious.

Has anyone processed long-dissociated memories? How does it feel to access them after they have been processed? Can you access them, or does it feel blank, or hazy, or something else entirely?

Thanks in advance.