I just don't know what else to suggest to you. I don't mean that to be mean, I just want you to get help and feel better and while I understand fearing the hospital I know from experience that there is a point where nothing else will help. I also know that it is truly not that bad. I don't mind it at all. I don't seek it out but I don't have a problem knowing that I seem to need to go in from time to time. And I was once TERRIFIED of it. I just think if you were in a bad place and getting worse there isn't much else that we can suggest on the board.