I understand your anxiety. My spouse is motivated but has been out of work since mid June of this year. We have two children, in their 20s, unemployed and out of school. I get extremely sad that they do not have better lives. I'm only working at home, periodically and part time.
These are the kind of stressors that make us sick. I am completely unqualified in regards to telling you how to make your life better. Mine is a mess also but I have learned to no longer be angry about it. My anger and anxiety fueled my attempt. Your anger is a sign that you either need to get help or make a change. I hope things get better for you. It is tough out there.