Quote:
Originally Posted by PumpkinPieHead
Thank you to all who replied. I have just started therapy and it means so much to hear these things.
My family likes to play the "you don't love us" card when I choose to not participate in family events or communicate with them. Having someone finally tell me that they are toxic and I don't have to pander to them is very empowering.
|
You are not at fault. You are not to blame. You know the truth.
A toxic family can weave a web of lies around you, gaslight you so much you are confused, insecure and wonder if you are crazy. You are not crazy.
You are a survivor and you can make good if you are prepared to work at it, because successfully managing trauma is hard work.
The lies, denial and 'rewriting' of history to suit is a sort of collective madness, a conspiracy to control the truth.
This is why I like Scott Pecks books, like 'The People Of The Lie' (the first half is excellent, second half rubbish he goes all religious and I am not religious) because it reflected my own experiences. Mother told me I was fat, ugly, stupid, that I would never have any friends as no one would ever like me. And I believed it leading to anxiety disorders and crippling social phobia.
But it was ALL LIES.
Took me 3 years of self help/therapy to rid myself of these false beliefs.
You can do it.