Reading a little into what your words are and how you worded them here.

First someone mentioned that you sound like you're fine with yourself but the truth is in this short description of yourself you've so far said you're fanatical, snarky, and cynical. you've separated yourself from this apparent ideal of normal people. In your framing of every specific detail about how you are, it seems to me, it's all in a very negative light. You are very critical of yourself and so I I disagree with anyone that states you seem fine with yourself. No, I would imagine you seem to be very well aware of what you perceive as negative traits affecting relationships but have the mindset that if it's something that so called "society" or social norms calls for you won't have it. For whatever reasons. I read this as if you see these negatives but are willingly refusing to look at them in any positive light or how you can use your traits to make them work. here's the thing. All of those things you describe have two sides to them, every aspect of personality can have a negative or positive connotation to them. I feel you just need to frame your personality differently and you can utilize this to find your place in groups, relationships and everything.

You say you are "unlovable" first as a thing that exists, which it does not and secondly as if it is a state of being that is to be achieved. It is not. Lovable is a word that can only be described by the person who cares for another. it is not something that anyone can generalize about any single person. What one man or women loves may be hated by another. it's a very subjective thing. If someone calls you unlovable, chalk them up as one of the people in a giant world that happens to find this true about you. They, nor no one person can say this about any other single person for everyone in the world. Find someone, some people that you can have common ground, equality and enjoy. They are out there.

Also, back to your negativitiy about yourself. Fact of the matter is, I won't use the cliché "love yourself first" because, well although it's kind of true, it's not a good description of what it means. If you see yourself in the bad, dark and negative light that you describe here, honestly how do you think anyone else is ever going to see the good, light within your personality that makes you one they want to be around? I am not one to push positivity as a fix all, but there is a certain amount of positivity and confidence we need to have about ourselves in order to attract others.

Don't try to be what you think the world wants you to be. Be yourself and find your own way, your own clique, your own group of friends and you will be much happier. Toss away the notion that there is some ideal set of personality traits that spell out "lovable" We all are to some, and not to others, so don't mold to the things you are resistant to being and find ways to enhance your own personal traits and style.