As you already pointed out, it is a multi faceted thing. It really is not a "thing" as so many describe, it's not a point at which you reach with a certain person and like in movies everything is wonderful. No, it is something that is a growing, moving and changing, it is something that we do.

but what of the feelings people speak of? is that love? not in my book. The emotional side of romance, what you feel for another is attraction, it is chemistry as some people call it. it is passion, it is lust, it is all of those things but is it love? NO. But it is what prompts us TO Love another person which, back to my first statement is what we do.

Love is caring, it is kindness to another, it is so many things but all of these things are things we make happen, we do for those that we have all of those feelings above initially. Love is prompted by infatuation, passion, and lust but not permanently so. Love that is given solely upon those fleeting emotions stops happening when those feelings fade, which they always do. They return at times when there is a level of endurance in the people involved and when a stronger bond based on deeper conection and emotion come later but lacking that, this is why quick marriages, quickly die in today's society, at least, in most cases. Many focus and want to hang onto the feelings in the early days of a relationship but unfortunately they are not permanent. since those kinds of feelings give such a "high" for us, it' can be very addicting and distracting from the activities that would build a stronger relationship like friendship, bonding and mutual empathy and compassion. Things that would make us remain past the highs of passion and lust.

Love that goes beyond this, is hard to find today. People that have an enduring spirit, a true commitment that means something.

I hate to say it but I get tired of hearing the old adage "I just don't love you anymore" in the breakup of a relationship. No, the truth is "I just don't feel like I did in the beginning" would be more accurate to say ... adding on that "and since I don't feel as strongly passionate about you and feel romance burning, I am choosing to stop doing things that would give you love." and ultimately we choose to stop loving (giving compassion, empathy, provision, support...etc) the person.

Love, is ultimately a choice. Feelings come and go.