Hello Emoangel --

Breaking up is hard, at any age, after almost any length of time. There is no doubt that questions of identity enter into it. There are all kinds of compromises we make to be in a relationship, and little by little these change who we started out being.

Being on one's again forces one to reflect on who one wants to be, which is perhaps not the person one was before the relationship nor the person one was when in the relationship.

The loneliness is especially difficult. I do think that part was worse for me when I was young. In middle age, I've grown to accept that I am a person who likes to spend a lot of time alone. The problem can be finding a partner who respects that.

Thank you for sharing your deep feelings about this.