I don't think that the death of my mother has entered into this in big way. It was expected and a truely released her from a life of sadness and suffering.

I do think that perhaps there is some healing going on with me though.

Last night in my somewhat sleep deprived state (insomnia) I moved from a feeling of sadness to some anger at the way that I had been treated 33 years ago. I kept thinking 'I did not deserve to be treated in that manner' and now feel that I had internalised the rejection as a belief that I was somehow unworthy.

Wow this is kind of amazing that I am seeing it more clearly with each passing day.