Why is your definition of who you are based on what he says and a book/article?

You had a guy friend...you hugged and maybe flirted a little....So? That is NOT an emotional affair....

I feel as if he's manipulated you to the point where you believe him. That's not good at all.

We are human. We make mistakes (FWIW, I don't see that you have made any that require "forgiving") That aside, making mistakes (and who or what our parents did) doesn't make us bad people....it just makes us people.

I hope you get to working on forgiving yourself.