Hello - just saw your post and thought I'd be able to give you a little insight. I have the similar problems as your friend and I hate to tell you this, but telling the person with the problem that they need to rationalize is the worst thing for them! we want to rationalize, we realize that what is bothering us so much really shouldn't be, but we can't control it. It is not your fault that you do not understand.. it would really help if you sat down and had a conersation and get some questions answered because it is different for every person... like : when you are having problems leaving your room, what makes it worse? is there anything i can do to help you through it? can you pinpoint the trigger of the anxiety? If you can get some of those answers you will be able to understand how to help your friend a little better.For example, tonight I locked myself in my room and was afraid to let anyone in or go out because i got into an argument with someone.... my friend is probably thinking-- this is silly! just open the door ! but he knew I couldn't. And if he were to say those things to me like-- "this isn't rational, just open the door" it would have made it ten times worse! so he reasoned with me.... he asked me the questions like what would make me feel less scared, why i felt scared etc. And then he suggested to me to build a fort inside my room for tonight, and sleep in it. He thought back to when he was a little kid and rememberd that when he was afraid he would put a blanket over a table, go under the table and hide there and mellow out reading or something.. and he remembered it helped. Now, I am 21 years old.... but this was the best suggestion I have ever heard! So, what i am getting at is even though it seems completely absurd that someone can't just rationalize a problem out, when you have a mental illness like this you just can't sometimes! And in order to help, it often is really helpful if you try to relate to it in some manner. Try to think of any situation that is similar that you have went through and start throwing out suggestions. none of them or some of them might work, but just the fact that you are trying to relate and understand will make your friend feel cared about and that will help a lot. Also- remember, you are a supporter, not a counselor, therapist, etc... so you don't need to feel it's your responsibility to figure out all of these problems, your purpose as a friend is to give suggestions to get through hard times, lend support, and initiative for them to get the help they need from professionals. Sounds like you are a good friend for wanting to help!! I hope that my rambling gave you some ideas!!
let me know what you think. take care-- ***Jess