You were looking for someone to understand your feelings. Worst-case-scenario, you might have been feeling out the possibility of having an affair or getting this man to be the catalyst to help you leave your husband because you are unhappy with him. You're human. What you did was so minor. Especially since your husband won't go to counseling, it makes sense that you went to confide in someone else.

It's your h that is acting way over the top about this. He has no right to be hateful and abusive over this. Don't let him brainwash you.

Is he using this as an excuse to abuse you and act righteous about it? Red flags! He'll be beating you next. You owe it to yourself and to your kids to put a stop to it now.