Quote:
Originally Posted by thought_pool
I've known my boyfriend for about 5 years and we've been in a committed relationship for 2.
I love him more than anything and I know he's the one for me. I know how cliche it sounds but this is the first time I've actually felt this to be true love in my life.
Every aspect of our relationship flows smoothly except for well, kids.
I know for a fact I want atleast 1 child. I've always wanted kids.
My boyfriend... not so much.
I really want to blame it on his age (he's 26) and where he's at in life at the moment (bartender making good money, in a band, likes traveling but can't decide on a career to pursue) and maybe I'm right.
I also know it's unfair to expect someone to change their mind just to satisfy your wants.
The idea of things not working out between us in the future because of this scares me...
What if he really never wants kids... what'll happen to me?
What'll happen to our marriage???
At the same time, I'm only 22 and I feel I shouldn't be worrying about something that doesn't affect me as of right now. But I know this will affect my future..
I'm in an ongoing battle with my mind and I can't talk to him about this cause he never says anything.
I need some insight. I need support.
I'm so nervous about our future.
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"What if he really never wants kids... what'll happen to me?"
Well here's the hard truth: If he does not want kids now, it's only fair to assume this is how it will remain. would it be fair to you for him to question your intentions, staying with you only with the expectations you'll change your mind about kids later? No. What is the case now is what you should move forward with or not, not some future what if hoping that is based on either you changing his mind of him doing it on his own.
You can only assess your own priorities and adjust them if necessary, never the other person's and even if you could change them, that would not be right. So choose if you want children 100% for sure or not. If you do, then assume this relationship isn't the right one for you and find someone that you can have a child with like you want.