I had a good long talk with the manager who's retiring this morning. I told her I was thinking about leaving. That I wanted the manager job and knew I could do it, but feeling very much out of the loop about everything going on in the department. Not sure it would get better.

She said I was still very much in consideration and that I should really just wait. That I had an advocate that I wouldn't expect. Which is great. I'm not particularly politically savvy, so it feels good to know at least one person is in my court. She too said she thinks the department/company needs me, so maybe 2 people.

But as I sat pondering all we talked about, I began to have doubts again. Not about my ability or desire for the job, but that maybe I'm too needed in my current roll to be able to be promoted. There is literally no one else in the department that knows a fraction of what I know. I'd like to think that plays in my favor. Promote me or lose me. But I don't think they know what I do, just that I do it. Sight unseen. Magic just happens and they're none the wiser.

I guess I need to toot my own horn a bit.

Any way, had doubts and the negative voice became loud and clear. Decided to work from home to get away from the office for a bit. So, at home with some quiet and able to work to keep my mind off of things. Just got invited to a thank you lunch with another department. See that only one other person from my department was invited. That's something. Right?