Sex wasn't a troubling experience in a traumatic kind of way. This might be going into TMI, but I was very excited to please my boyfriend, but already anticipating actual sex, because vaginal sex was never something I desired. When it finally came to it, it just HURT a LOT (I'm sure is probably normal) and completely turned me off rather than on, which apparently is what most people want. I just told him that I couldn't do it, and we ended up doing it a different way instead (trying to keep it not too TMI here). It was terrible for him, but I'm NOT having that. I really never did... something about vaginal sex also just makes me imagine that I'm busting my internal organs and isn't appealing at all lol.

Is it asexual though if I am still turned on in other ways and to please my partner sexually? I still don't know.