You sound like me. I was told a long time ago that "my picker is broken". Meaning I "pick" the wrong people without meaning to. I was also once told "the first person in the room you are attracted to is most likely the worst person for you". And it turned out to be right. I was robbed blind by boyfriends and my first husband also as soon as I became pregnant with my son...he changed (or showed his true colors as the case turned out to be). I've since learned "why" I do this and that has helped me. It has to do with dysfunction in my past and is very complicated. My current husband is an honest and valiant, honorable man and I intentionally gave him a chance for that reason. Best decision I ever made.

My heart goes out to you, it really does. I have my husband, mom and best friend but I really struggle with friendships because my paranoia is high. Once friends and lovers screw you over enough, it messes you up in various ways you're probably still not aware of. Do you get therapy?