So after my session last night I started to feel kind of irritated with my T and I don't know why. It seems to be over really stupid things like when she said goodbye instead of saying "take care" she said "see ya". The other thing that annoyed me was when we were talking about romantic relationships I said that the guy doesn't need to be super physically attractive for me to be attracted to them then T said "so he doesn't need to be like Brad Pitt, actually he's a bit old maybe someone from your generation like Justin Bieber. I'm sure it's not Justin Bieber!" *awkward laughter from T*. Obviously T was just trying to be funny but I just found it irritating.

I know these little things aren't really what's bothering me but I'm not really sure what actually is. I think part of it is that I thought I would have had some kind of breakthrough and cried in front of T by now. I thought she would be able to get that out of me. Also, I don't think I need T as much as I used to; in the beginning I felt like seeing T was the only thing getting me through the week. The fact that I don't feel that way anymore should be a good thing but I miss it for some reason. Lastly, I spend so much time obsessing over T and therapy is n general that all this navel gazing has left me feeling disconnected from everyone else. Because of that the person I'm closest with (in certain ways) is T but she won't even hug me and she is obviously not my friend. The whole thing is frustrating and usually I would blame myself and leave T on the pedestal that I put her on but not this time. This time the anger is directed at her and I don't like it.