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sherrimayne · Oct 28, 2016, 04:43 AM

Exactly!

Like you, my children are older now (2 boys 18 & 16) who do not really need "Mom's Help" fot anything anymore. I am actually okay with them spending time doing their own tasks because they need to learn independence! My guilt sets in especially when my 16 year old son Isaiah, who has Asperger's Syndrome, comes into my bedroom and talk very low and soft to me. He will ask if he can do anything for me. I usually tell him "no" because I can't even think about coming up with a chore for him. Then he will give me the biggest hug and tell me that he loves me. I watch him walk out of my room and my heart breaks. He understands my depression. I've had it longer than he is alive, but he is a fixer like his Dad. He wants to fix. His Asperger's Syndrome keeps him from understanding why he can not just "fix it, although I would appreciate if he could..." I still hope that some day, they will never see me struggle with my anxiety and depression.

Quote:

Originally Posted by vjdragonfly

My kids are older, but I still do my best to hide my depression even from my husband. I will lay down like I'm taking a nap if I need to break down. I guess it is easier cause my kids are older now 15 & 20. I do feel guilty for what I put my oldest through. She got to deal with me undiagnosed and I was definitely all over the place. I don't know how she felt when she was younger but she has always told me I was a good Mom even when I feel like I was the worst at it.