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Originally Posted by s4ndm4n2006
First, why would you jump to this conclusion simply for having connected with one bad apple in a gigantic bunch? I mean society is far from a single experience with people and you only dealt with one apparent clique here so I would say no. just find better people to hang out with. plenty of good, people out there along with those that aren't the best socializers.
Along with some of the others, I think you handled it well. It is, quite honestly possible to deal with her even having to see her with cordiality but yet remain closed off to any possible interactions beyond the volunteering. Ok so I'm one that draws a very clear line between work and play myself so it's easy for me, and I realize it's not so simple for others, but it is, possible. Be professionally courteous, but focus on what you're there for. Perhaps in some cases socializing with work acquaintances works fine but here I think the case has been made where it's not appropriate anymore. You may not have to be rude, just firm. Let your no be no and keep it at that. people like her will try to draw you into a conversation and make you bend, but you know this. so keep it simple, to the point and move on from there.
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I'm cognizant the behavior of society isn't defined by one experience, but this is a more and more common thread in society. Guests give a couple wedding gifts, and no acknowledgement in the form of thank you note is sent. People who show up at a pot luck empty handed, but will load up their plate, and in some cases ask to take home some leftover. These aren't just people I've encountered, or common practices based on a region or generation. Simple courtesies that were once extended, are no longer recognized or considered necessary by a growing segment of America society (I haven't found this to be the case in western European countries, yet).
Yesterday, I actually had another encounter with this woman, about the same topic. She cornered me and said, "Well?" My reply was, "Yes?" She added, "So, when are we doing the autumn retreat at your lake house." I smiled and told her, "Never. The house is closed for the season and most weekends are already filled for next year." smiled and walked away. Based on the cold shoulder I receive the rest of the day, she wasn't too happy, but keeping her happy, is not my job. I'm sure she will be back to try again, perhaps next year, and that's ok, I actually liked saying no and walking away.