My former therapist used to say that shame is the only emotion that carries no informative value. According to her, its message - 'I'm bad' - is just always wrong..

I've kind of come to feel this is true, but I still can't let my shame go..

The other day, I imagined a friend coming over, and immediately started feeling ashamed at 'just being seen' by them.. The shame just is in my body.

But then I think it's also (or totally?) in my head.. I can think I'm bad because.. I wasn't accepted by my dad - but surely, I could just as easily think I'm not bad because of that?

So what do I get from thinking I'm bad.. It allows me to hide. I don't have to be seen with my true emotions.

Like with that friend example.. I wondered what it is that I really feel that I have to hide behind shame - and realised I'm 'mad that this friend wasn't there for me'! And I feel I can't tell them because 'I don't want to hurt their feelings'..

I don't really even know where I'm going with this.. Guess I just need to get this out to clear my thoughts and pave my way forward..