[Sorry for any mistake in my english, i'm not a native speaker but trying to improve]

Since I've turned 25 (don't know why) I've been thinking about death in a deeper way... I sometimes found myself (it's so weird that I hope i'm not the only one) randomly looking at biographies of 20s/30s/40s actors and actresses on Google and noticing how beautiful and -apparently- joyful they used to be and so on. Also I lost some relatives and during their funerals I felt more desperate that I used to feel -thinking about death- when I was younger. Back then it seemed more a misterious, far thing and now it's so certain and scary.
I'm agnostic, and, from my perspective... death is death (DUH). Of course, something remains... what we've done in life, our memories and love in the living ones... but being dead means one is not existing anymore, and slowly disappears. Eventually the living ones will also die so the memories will go, too... unless they've pass them to the next generation ._.
I know everything I just wrote may sounds so obvious but... I feel like I can't get out of this paranoia. Every early morning in bed I think about my grandmother... I saw her being buried and... it was such a strong image to me. And I feel like... "what's the point?", and, hopeless, I struggle to get out of bed. Someday it drives me crazy inside.

On the bright side (oh, is there one?) this makes me feel grateful for being alive. And i'm more "humanity goals"-oriented. x) I need to use my time better

Is anyone feeling the same paranoic way? I think it's just about trying to distract myself from thinking about it. Yep