My little brother's my soft spot, that's never changed. I'd do anything to see him smile. It doesn't change the fact that....

I don't know. I just feel like I'm gone and at this point, there's no saving me and I'm cursed to live with myself like this.

What's messed up, I don't even feel as depressed as I have been for well over a month (to the point of taking a tad too much medication with alcohol just to test the waters) and yet, I'm still thinking this way. I had a good night and I did something good and I still am like this. I don't know if I'm just that depressed or if maybe the doctor was right and I'm bipolar. What's one more illness, right? Keep stacking 'em up.