It sounds like some unmet needs from way, way back are surfacing... which may be why they don't feel adult to you but (as you put it) infantile. You've responded by doing a lot of adult self-care, but I'm guessing it's not the adult part of you that's feeling needy, it's a child part. Which is why that self-care isn't working, I'd imagine.

What did your T say when you told him about wanting to be hugged, if you feel comfortable sharing that? I was just curious. Wondering what T's do about needs for physical touch if they don't do physical touch with clients...?