Thanks, mostly lurking. I honestly don't know what he can possible do to make this ok or better. I do know that I feel less depleted, calmer, more grounded today. Maybe a combo of telling him and the time-out stuff.

The hard thing is that as much as I don't want to collapse into dependency/being care taken, I do. But it is so bad and destructive for my life. It's like a form of s**de without actually ending my physical life. Just the life I am living, where I am so responsible for so many people and so many things and nobody takes care of me. And even if they could/would, I don't let them. Man, there's a whole lot going on right in that last paragraph!!!