I know this is almost a year old, but I wanted to visit it again to dump a revived thought.

"Shyness has a strange element of narcissism, a belief that how we look, how we perform, is truly important to other people."

They say that shyness of social anxiety is a kind of mild narcissism, because you're deluded into thinking other people actually notice and care about you, so much so that it paralyzes you. Granted, I can't completly believe it. I notice people, and occasionally judge. Scroll through Facebook or Reddit and yes, people totally judge others. Harshly. I want to be judged well, if I must be. Plus, there are plenty of formal situations where how you look or perform matters - I can't just go into work out of dress code, play with my phone all day, and not expect a reprimand.

Why does this just make me want to jump off a damn bridge? If absolutely no one cares about you, or what you do, and never will, what's the point of living, or doing anything? If being loved or admired is impossible, there's nothing to live for. If trying to feel significant in the smallest way is wrong, I don't think this world is for me.

If you don't matter to anyone, why waste resources living?

Don't worry, there's nothing serious going on. Just being stupid and triggered.

EDIT: I'm probably going to be ruminating about this for the rest of the night, so I might as well purge my thoughts here. How on earth do people find that quote inspiring. Must be suicidal folks who can read that, think "Get over yourself, no one cares about you. What makes you so important people would give a ***** about what you think/do?" and not figure it's less painful to just not exist if everything is that futile. I mean, how dare you think you're so important you actually have the right to exist and be accepted! How dare you be so uppity as to want to be liked!

Some people do seem to identify social anxiety or outright shyness as somewhat narcissistic; heck, I'm narcissistic. I can admit that. I wish I was special, I want to impress people. If people don't care, I want to be able to make them care (and if that's pointless...well, I have no reason or motivation to live). I seldom ever think people are talking about me - it only recently kicked in at work. I'd see coworkers chatting in low voices and a piece of me would be terrified that it was about me, that I'm not pulling my weight or I did something that offended someone and they're upset, maybe I'll even get disciplined or fired! I don't want that! Isn't it reasonable to be scared? Of course, it's much more likely they're not talking about me, but the possibility haunted me.

In normal interaction though...I can't fully explain where the fear is. It's usually been more like my mind going blank, or simply not knowing how to say or do, sometimes even feeling paralyzed. Nothing consciously to do with impressing others.

I actually just realized there's almost a little narcissism imbued in that quote, and anyone who advertises it. "What I say and do matters and evinced by you listening to me right now; but anything you say or do is worthless and no one cares!" What a load.