beth.....i totally understand your feelings and you sadness.....i too "lost" my family......this was along time ago but sometimes it still hurts and i miss what might have been........what you need to do is embrace those who are still in your life.....i leaned on my husbands family and that helped alot....can you do this also?.its a horrible feeling not to have a family of your own but try to remember the pain they put you through and even though there are things you will miss......now you don't have that pain......its hard i know.....