Your dad is not going to manage to charm your T, not after a year of you seeing her, not after she believed you about past abuse but just didn't realize it was still ongoing (if I'm getting that right). I can imagine that this would be one of your worst fears, that he would get the upper hand somehow, but I can't really see that happening again now that you are an adult, you have a caring T, he is leaving visible marks which you can document, and so forth. Keeping a journal of incidents and dates, including any details you can remember from the past, is a good idea too.

I have been in bad situations (definitely not as bad, but not good) that I thought I was surviving more or less okay -- I thought I was "hardened" as you put it. Yet once I was out of them, I was amazed to see how badly I had been affected, in retrospect. You may feel hardened but you may not be able to visualize what life could be like if he were not doing this to you. It sounds like it's been going on a long time. How would you know how much it is really affecting you? You deserve so much better than this and this is your opportunity to make a change with your T's help. Also-- if a T contacts the police perhaps that carries more weight than just your average citizen? Even if charges aren't pressed, at least you could get a restraining order.

I also think it's not good if T's act upset or disappointed that you didn't open up earlier... and your situation illustrates the reason why it's not good. Because she was upset before, you're understandably afraid of upsetting her with this new information, so you're more reluctant to tell her. I don't mean to criticize your T, she was probably just having a moment of being human and worried about you, but it's not ideal in my opinion. I think it would be reasonable for you to say "I have something to tell you, but I just can't take it if you're going to act upset or angry at me or disappointed in me when I say this." She should be able to do that if she's a good T.

I know it would be a very tough conversation but if you imagine all us forum folks standing behind you, maybe it's a smidge easier? I really hope you can tell her soon.