It's been 2 weeks ago Wednesday that I last saw my T. Last Wednesday, I was forced to cancel my appointment (GOD FORBID) because I was stuck in a meeting with parents. Strangely, I feel totally abandoned! I make no sense to myself!

Yes, I gave the receptionist the reason I wasn't going to be there when I called so T knew I was okay. BUT he knows how attached I am to him and how hard it is for me to be in his absence. Why, oh why, couldn't he have just called me and said:

"I wanted to call to see how you were doing since it will be so long between sessions . . ."
OR
"I just called because I missed seeing you on our regular session and wanted to check in with you . . ."
BETTER YET,
"I CAN'T STAND IT ANY LONGER! Tomorrow at 4:00 can't come soon enough for me. All I've done is think about solving your problems since I saw you last -- so long, long ago. There is no way you are going to every other week. I couldn't take it."
OR AT LEAST,
"I hope you come in next week because you're a steady source of income." LOL

Yet no call. I think he hasn't even once wondered if I am doing okay or losing it. I'm just a patient. That is all I will ever be. He forgets about me as soon as he puts up my chart and grabs the chart of the other patient. It sounds so silly, yet feels so devastating. How can he even think about going on without me? I feel so insignificant.