Oh my gosh - this job!!!! Ok, here is my NEW affirmation: This job is seasonal; only 3 more months.
This job is seasonal; only 3 more months.
I can do this - this is do-able.
3 mone months.

I am wary of my managers! They're all.... what can I say... scary! The one who hired me is can change from totally zanny/off the wall to a tyrant. Then the next one i trust most the time, but definately don't want to get on her bad side. #3 was in such a bad mood yesterday that her normal zest for rules and messing with people who mess up turned into the Rule Gestapo. I got locked out of the store yesterday (because she does this to spite people who mess up) and had to go allllllllllllllllll the way around to the main door. And manager #4 personally i think is an SOB. thankfully, I rarely ever close with him.
So - I am thinking it is best not to breathe a word about my boxcutter issues with anyone. Just rely on my new affirmation, continue carying one around with me and keept it at my station when i have to put it down, and posting in here to people who totally 'get' it.
I'm sure everyone in here totally understands the built-in sensitivity that comes with our lives - picking up on other people's emotions before they do. I turned into a different person around the Rule Gestapo, for safety measures. I was afraid to do anything else i mess up and she was right there over my shoulder watching (because I am new). But again, i closed out just fine as i have every night. Breathing and telling my self to focus on my work, not on her.
(((((((((((((((((thanks all))))))))))))))))))))
Kiya