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Originally Posted by Skeezyks
Hello ClutterHeadAugust: Well... the Skeezyks doesn't really know about all of this.  But I saw that no one had replied to your post. So I thought I would.  |
Haha, that's very sweet of you, thank you very much
Quote:
Originally Posted by Skeezyks
I guess as long as one can keep one's fantasizing to oneself, then it really is no one else's business, in my opinion. However, when it begins to affect a person's day-to-day life & relationships with family members & friends, etc. then it becomes a different situation.
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If you feel like it, I can suggest that you go to a Reddit post I made, regarding this exact same topic. In that thread, I feel like I have more thoroughly explained a lot of how things went down. Also, one person's comments to me are very intelligently put in that thread, and the understanding I felt I received in that thread helped me further explain things more comfortably:
https://www.reddit.com/r/AvPD/commen...pe_to_fantasy/
Quote:
Originally Posted by Skeezyks
There's one thing I can say with regard to this that I have written a number of times in reply to other posts. Everyone including family members & friends, etc. has her or his limits. And it is up to those of us who struggle with mental health issues to find a way to not be continually pushing up against, or going beyond, those limits. If we cannot, or will not, then we have to realize that we risk being abandoned. That is, from my perspective, the cold, hard reality of the situation.
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I see your point to a degree. But at the same time, that sounds very apologetic, as if we should say "excuse me for having problems". Ironically, I already do that too much ... it's kind of a part of the AvPD diagnosis, lol; fear of rejection, fear of being judged and criticized, etc. And I have done a lot of things for people, crawled for them, just so they wouldn't leave me. But through therapy lately, I am starting to learn that I have the right to request some understanding, care and patience. With that said, though, I try not to push my partner at all. I have pretty much given up hope of being understood regarding this topic ... it has forever become our elephant in the room. So I have to either live with that, or move on.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Skeezyks
Perhaps the important thing here, particularly when it comes to relationships with significant others, is open communication so that the person who is doing the fantasizing can express what it is that is going on with them & the "significant other" can delineate what they can & can't tolerate... in other words they can express what they hold to be their limits... or borders... |
Well, I am not free to express what's going on in my head anymore, because it's too much for my partner to handle. The very thought of me having any fantasy at all is too much for my partner to bear. Again, the Reddit post sheds more light on this part.