Sorry to be negative, but I hate being a "dude". I hate it because as a man people expect me to be a man; strong, decisive, confident, works his way through difficulties and failures ... etc. I'm none of that. I'm very weak, mentally.

I'm a failure with women where most guys get excited to be a guy. I like women, but I hate myself near them. I've never approached (and thus loved or touched) one.

Would I feel the same if I were a woman? Probably. But the expectations are high for men, and the sympathy for them is very low. I don't ask for sympathy, I just want to live my life as a normal human being through the gender that I'm. I want to be reasonably confident, active, loving, be loved, compassionate, sociable, ... etc. I want to feel I'm living.

Sorry again for my negative post.