Quote:
Originally Posted by Mysterious153
 I'm sorry your mind continues to linger in such dark places. You have overcome so much. Do we lose our faith because we have lost hope? Or have we lost hope because we are to stubborn to believe? I wonder. I lost my faith a while back and no longer feel conflicted inside about it. That comes with time. I do not know if that is a good thing or not. I do keep quiet about it when I am among believers (like my mother in law). I don't want to worry her and I am happy that her faith gives her so much peace and happiness. I respect believer's who have a true faith by practicing charity, kindness, patience, etc. I am sure believers struggle with doubts as well. I think it's part of the human condition. And I think that your internal conflict about your faith is magnified by your overactive mind. But I do appreciate the sentiment. I can relate. |
Those are actually some really good questions and you're on the spot there, my mind is way too overactive. I can't even shut it off to sleep, which is what I've been trying to accomplish that last two hours and have momentarily given up.
*Possible Trigger*
I lost my faith, I suppose fairly recently depending on your standards of time. It had been wavering for years but last year, it went out the window.
During an event that took place (the origin of my PTSD) I remember just thinking in my head at first "God will get me out of this one, I'll be okay. He won't let anything happen" which turned into "God save me, please. Please get me out of this." and at the end of it all I realized that no one saved me and no one will ever save me. It's just me; I'm all I got and it will always be that way because not even this God guy was there for me. I'm alone.