Those are actually some really good questions and you're on the spot there, my mind is way too overactive. I can't even shut it off to sleep, which is what I've been trying to accomplish that last two hours and have momentarily given up.
*Possible Trigger*
I lost my faith, I suppose fairly recently depending on your standards of time. It had been wavering for years but last year, it went out the window.
During an event that took place (the origin of my PTSD) I remember just thinking in my head at first "God will get me out of this one, I'll be okay. He won't let anything happen" which turned into "God save me, please. Please get me out of this." and at the end of it all I realized that no one saved me and no one will ever save me. It's just me; I'm all I got and it will always be that way because not even this God guy was there for me. I'm alone.