I've thought like this off and on for years. I would always quit therapy and stop medication for this very reason.

You touched on something I wish to expand on and hope you don't mind. My whole life I've been told "don't be a victim" ....this message is passionately chanted amongst the masses. I bought into it with passionate conviction. I stopped therapy at 15 and told them "you just want me to hate and blame my parents when it's my fault". I wasn't falling for it. I was too clever....I wasn't a victim and made my own choices. Flash forward 25 years and I'm finally accepting that I am a victim. I'm a survivor too, but absolutely 100% was and still am a victim. The victimization doesn't go away just by labeling it "survivor". I hopefully won't remain a victim, but truly recognizing I am one and really allowing that to soak in is VITAL if I'm ever going to make any real progress. I hear people on here say "therapy never helped me" and others who say "My therapist saved my life". I hope I'm in the saved camp as therapy is the only real hope I have left at this point.

I try to rarely use words like "never" or paint anything with too broad a brush stroke. There are good and bad aspects when it comes to mental health services. Some doctors are in it for the money but most I feel want to help. It's not a career people go into solely for money in most cases.

At age 15 I had a therapist who gave me her home phone number, said to call anytime and even offered to pick me up if I needed it. I wish I would have stuck with her but we moved hours away. I think my life could look very different right now if I had stuck with her. But who knows....perhaps denying my victimhood for so long kept me striving in a way. Perhaps I never would have been employed for 20 years, finished training or went to college if I had embraced that label at the time. But honestly, I feel I probably would have been much better off by accepting reality as it was, rather than the sugar coated version I imagined and protected.

I'm very sorry for all you were put through. It sounds just awful and barbaric and I'm truly sorry it happened to you.

In closing, I'd like to say "I'm a victim". I know this makes some people uneasy or consider me whiny and an excuse maker but that is their reality.....I need to live in my reality with my truths and while I don't intend to stay one forever, it's about time I recognize the truth that's been staring me in the face for decades.

((Hugs to anyone whose been mistreated by medical professionals or anyone else for that matter)))