cinnamon_roll and MostlyLurking

I don't think I can talk to anyone right now, I feel like relinquishing this to someone else is going to make me feel so powerless. I hate the feeling of not knowing what's going on behind the scenes. It goes back to when I was a teenager and I asked for help. Things had gotten so bad at home that I went to the school counsellor, I told her a minimal amount of information (always chose my words very carefully) and she informed Social Services within an hour of speaking to me. I spoke to her a few times after that, completely unaware the counsellor had spoken to SS, until a letter came in the post saying that I had to meet with a social worker, and so did my parents on separate occasions. I was punished and my dad became a relentless tyrant.
To cut this story short, my dad flirted and charmed his way through the home visit with the social worker, my mum was sitting next to him the whole time, but the SW left my house giggling and laughing.
When the front door shut I felt this impending doom feeling, like my life was about to end there and then. He pointed out that I had burnt all my bridges, sent my mum out to do the weekly shop and punished me.
My punishment resulted in a pregnancy and miscarriage, since then my fear has been intensified.
I'm not sure I can explain it, there's to much to 'it' to explain. I feel stuck between a hard place and a rock, I know I'm the only person who can put an end to it but there's always a but. Even I'm sick of saying 'but this' and 'but that'

I'm scared history will repeat itself again, that he'll manipulate / flirt / charm his way out of the truth. If the police don't believe me I am well and truly on my own. That's not something I can face now. I want to talk to my T about this on Wednesday, I just need to figure out the best way for me.

As for a trusted doctor, the only person I think I can trust with this is my T. But thank you for the idea. I'm going to reread all replies and see if any of the ideas people have left could help.