Ankh... I can't even imagine. I'm so sorry.

Whatever your T might think should be done, she will discuss it with you rather than hiding it from you, as two adults. I can understand not wanting to relinquish power, but getting away from him is not something you can do all by yourself. He is a violent psychopath. It is not on you to handle him. Think of it as enlisting the professional help of others, not as having your own power taken away. Getting away from him is the first step toward getting your own power back, I would think.