I can totally relate to how you describe your feelings to some degree. You see I became infatuated with my therapist about one year ago or more. He knows everything about me, he is compassionate, kind and always smiles when he sees me. I know that he cares because he was very worried one time when I almost overdosed on pills and couldn't reach me back. It wasn't meant to happen that way, but I really did worry him and he called my psy the next day. I appologized and was really sorry but I ended up in the hospital and couldn't reach him right away. I have a sexual problem with dreaming about him and wanting to be with him all the time. I even came on to him during our therapy verbally that is and he forgave me and said he understood it was my illness not me. I do this when I am in a hypomanic or manic episode and then later regret it. However at the time, it feels right and I feel no shame or anything. They say that this is called transference but I don't understand it. I'm sure your therapist also cares about what happens to you, but after all we are just their patients and they have to keep it that way. I understand my problem but I still daydream about him as my relationship with my husband is very cold and we don't communicate at all. He doesn't understand anything about me.