Ok, so I took all of you with me........I have never been to a session like that before. My T when we have sessions I go in with what I need or want to talk about, or he brings up things and we talk, we work out something, or he sends me home to think about things. It is intense and at times scary, But I am comfortable with him and know his approach and the way things happen, usually anyway.

My new T I just saw tonight, she is stictly trauma, and healing from the trauma. We focused on my others. She talked to me about how she will help me let go of the past, so it doesn't paralyze me in the present. Today we focused on the suicide part of me, and asked her to step aside so I could access the fear part of me. It was intense, I am exhausted, and the whole time in there, my inner child was yelling and angry at me. I felt like I was in a war zone, so I broke down and told her about my inner child work I had started and abandoned because it was to painful. She asked if my other T was helping me with it, I said I was doing it on my own, with a self help book. She was amazed I even tried,and said that this is why my T wants me to see her, she will help me get through this and make peace with my inner child. She was a abused child as well, so she knows what and how I am feeling. She asked if I could let the suicide part of me know that we are going to give her coping skills to help stop her from thinking that there is no hope to go on. She also said that she is not going to stop me from following through with my plan but that she is hoping that with her help, I will be able to stop having the thoughts and feelings of no other way.

It was interesting, intense, and a whole different approach then what I have been accustomed to. She also said that with the two of us working together that she feels we will be able to accomplish this without having to do the hospilization route.

The down side is, she is away next week.......figures!!! So she wants me to see my other T, and she said she will tell him what we worked on today and that she wants me to see him while she is gone.

I feel like my little inner child right now!!!