I'm sorry you are feeling like this...that doesn't sound pleasant at all.

This sounds like me when I'm depressed. Is this how you still feel when stable? I don't have the answer to your question.....I seem to either be very up or very down the past few years. I used to have more stability but can't seem to find the balance the past 3 years. I need to seek treatment when I feel as you do. I don't always do so and it lasts sometimes even when I do but at least it's something.