I am sorry it hurts so much. There have been people (one male and one female) who have gone through terrible divorces (in both cases, their spouse left them) in my family. It can be really hard to trust after this has happened to you. I am sorry it happened to you.
I am sure your looks are just fine!! We lose our "looks" as we age anyways. I hope you find someone who treats you better. You deserve it!